chile ..u so funny part two

so last time i was here i was talking bout me and my lil sisters drama...i stopped at we were not talking for two weeks. so , two weeks go by and we aren't talking.. i mean she had her side comments here and there but for the sake of my mama i nignored her. one day now, i am in the kitchen washing dishes and this chick comes in to get a knife and decided while she has the knife in her hand to wave it in my general direction..i looked at her and laughed..then she puts the knife back but is stabbing the knife holder thingy and looking at me all stank looking. so i tell here, am i supposed to be scared...and she says no and walks out. now some of you may say why did i not just deck the trick right then and there cause she was outta line??!!?? and i say, b/c i know myself and once i would have started with that one punch , i would have beat her ass into next year and would not have stopped until i felt liked she fully understood who the fcuk i really am ( btw, this counts is one of my few and far between brooklyn girl moments) . i know myself and while i am not one to get angry often, trust and believe that my angry is epic level shit..i am talking bout bust the windows out your car, throw pepper in ur shampoo type of shit.. now no one has ever gotten me that angry because i don't let myself get that angry. i know that i have the capacity to do shit like that hence i don't let anger get the best of me. i am a person who stays angry for a day, ..at most.. to me being angry at something (or someone) is such a energy waster, shitttttt, i got better things to do instead of being angry.. so in summation, me and my lil sister still don't talk and honestly, i don't feel any kind of way about it. i did at first but i realized if she is going to be so bitter and angry over me pointing out the truth to her then let her be. i will live my life and she can liver hers. this does not mean i don't love her or do i hate her , it just means that it is what it is.

chile ..u so funny part one

so as promised one of my many funny stories. so me and my younger sister, are always at odds about something, whether it be who moved this, who touched what, i mean it is normal sister stuff. see, now we are two capricorns so it would be assumed we would get along all the time.. but...well...sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. see i am a nice capricorn, she is a ..not..so ...nice capricorn (i.e. bitch), so we can at various times be at odds with each other. i give this intro so that maybe you can get a understanding of how our relationship works and why it is is how it is now. so anway, one day she was in the kitchen with me and she called me a slut(or a whore, i really don't recall) and i don't why, but it annoyed me . see, she had developed this habit (which i know i should have nipped in the bud a long time ago) of calling me these types of names often like the shit is a known fact or like it is my government name ..... i mean i am a lot of things which may or may not be negative such as, fat, stubborn at times, make-up addict, jobless, but one thing i am not is a slut,whore or any of the words that are in that spectrum. so in my fedupness(my word, don't judge) i responded to her by telling her to stop projecting her personal feelings about herself onto me..she said it again and that's when i decided to break it down to her about who i really was. i broke it down to her by saying i am a virgin and i am pretty damn sure she knows a hell of lot more about sex than me and further i am not a slut,whore or any of the words in that spectrum because of the aforementioned virginal status...well, that ticked her off all right, she went and told my mom who i was surprised took my side and said that she is dishing it and should learn how to take it. now some may say why did i bother responding to a 16 yr old chile about something i knew not to be true about my 25 yr old self ?!?!, and i say she needed to hear it from someone. now i feel (i.e know how, u may ask??, it is my capricorn psychic ability *winks*) that her pussay has been busted wide open by one of these lil negro(s) runnin round here;and i feel (i.e know once again my psychic ability*double winks*) that she has probably done some slore shit that she is probably ashamed of, so maybe by calling me a whore, slut..any of the names within that spectrum, she can somehow..maybe..take some of her feelings of guilt and shame off her and put them on me.. *kanye shrug*butttttttt....i am just pulling at straws here, i don't know.. so anyway, after that she decided that she was not going to talk to me because i guess like i said , i struck a slorey (once again my word, don't judge) nerve. so two weeks pass and still she isn't talking to me and then.... *pause* ok this is getting long so there will be a part two..

Heylo yall

hey yall, i know i have been away for a awhile. i have been trying to figure shit out in my life. u know, establish a plan, some goals, you know hsit like that. so , for one i basically gave a sign of to facebook, because i went to my crushes page one day and saw that he was taking a vacation to go vist his "woman" (now i put quotes cause he had told me he was single and had no woman) in some state and i dont know why but that stirred something in me that made me realize some things that i wrote in my message box on facebook and will put verbatim. it said:

I have relearned some lessons that I thought I had down pack but did not. First, sometimes in life, some things are better left unknown.Second, sometimes he is just not that into you, even if you feel otherwise.Third,trust your instincts, even if oth...ers tell you different.Fourth, a good time one night does not equal a future boo. In the end, it is,what it was and shall be. I feel that i have relearned these lessons for a reason, why, because I needed to. I have got to get myself focused, so I will be off of Facebook for a while, so that I can get myself on the path I want to be on, instead of the path that I am on now.... So love you all and no I am not sad,mad,angry or anything negative. I am just very focused right now, the most focused I have been in a long time. So ttyl

when i wrote that i was so focused , i meant that and to this day i still mean it and still am. i am not content with where i see myself going. no job, no money and no real things of my own have left me feeling like less of a person but!!! i have realized that i am to blame for this and no one else and that i have to....no....no....MUST change this. i know that i have to and must do better, so i am making changes. i have begun working out and eating better ( i have slipped up many times but i am dedicated) i will from next week really start looking for a job( not this week because i am helping my sister out for the whole week, i promised and i hate going back on my word) and i am finally start studying for the lsat, cause really i have no excuses at all for not studying.. so... that is all that has been happening in my life, i do have some funny stories but those are for later ( they really are funny, i promise) so bye for now...

We talked, sorta

Well I decided since I made such a big deal about friend requesting "da body", I might as well talk to him. So i went to his page ( which at this point I have thoroughly went over with a fine tooth comb, comments, pics, tha works!!.. i know...don't judge) and sent him a message that said : "hey !! whats up???" and he (surprisingly!!) responded "Chillin homie, can't complain, how u?" and i responded ( after doin some celebratory pussay poppin caused he called me "homie"..once again..don't judge) and I responded "pretty good, bored as hell but pretty good..." and then he ...said nothing...I felt like ok, maybe he busy, he had to go, or maybe just maybe, he is just not that into me...Yeah , I know, It took me a while to figure that out but , yeah, he is just not that into me. i know for a fact that men are not that complicated when it comes to whether or not they are feeling a girl. The fact that I went and found him and said the first hello, makes me realize that he ain't that into me. It is so funny because I just this moment, as I was writing this post came to this shocking realization. I cant believe I did not see this before. Well I guess the Lord gives us aha!! moments when he feels we have learned our lesson. So what is the lesson that I have learned?? Well for One, I need to stop going crazy daisy over a dude just because we had a nice conversation. Two, I need to realize what dudes are really in my league( if you see this dude and then take a look at me, you will see that we are mismatched as fck!!, He is a friggin body builder and I am a super doughy fat ass, i am keeping it as real as ever...) and stay away from said dudes. Third, while it was "brave"( still debating whether this is true) of me to friend request him, I was better off not doing it but, I do not regret doing it though because I learned a valuable lesson, one that I already knew but CLEARLY needed to learn again.. *sighs* Well ,another post that has gone south.. eh!!!... It is what it is *kanye shrug*

So ,he accepted

Ok, so yesterday, I took my ass on to Facebook for a variety of reasons. One, to check out some pics my cousin took from her mini vacation in DR, Two, to play SororityLife and Mafia Wars (good games, btw) and Three, to see if this dude( who I have now nicknamed "da body") had accepted my friend request. Well, color me surprised, "da body" accepted my request..I damn near did a j-sett spin with a dramtic cunt faint(youtube it if ya don't know what I am talkin bout) when I saw he actually accepted. I was so surprised and stuff. I mean why did he accept it?? Does he accept all friend request or is he like me that only accepts from people he know?? I had and still don't have any idea why he did it. Maybe it is because he remembered me from the place we met and wants to get to know me better..who knows.. Maybe he accepted me cause I am FB friends with the person that we both know..IDK...but what I do know is that he accepted and that is all that mattered to me.I went to his page , checked out his pics (which are sexay as fck *fans self*) and just kinda hung out on his page and went through it...I mean he seems like a uber nice person and I still feel attracted to him. I told my friend and she said I should say hi, chat with him a bit and then ask him out for a drink *slams brakes*..excuse me!??! You want me to actually talk to him and then ask him out for drinks??? This chick must be bananas!!! It took me almost a month to friend request dude , now you want me to chat him up and try to get a date!!! Now, I know she is 100 percent right, butttttttttt, that don't mean I am gonna do it... In case she and the 2 of y'all that read this here blog don't know, I am a confident bitch when it comes to work, school and other shit like that...but when it comes to men..I am a stephon marbury crying in my webcam while listening to sad gospel songs level bitch... I have trust issue with men(for a variety of reason) and I also have issues expressing my feelings when it comes to men. I am so used to getting shot down that even when a man my genuinely likes me, I have wall I put up in order to protect my heart from hurt. I know I am wrong but since the last man I dated (mind u I was 18 when this happened, 25 now...yeah I know...)did me so dirty...,slept with my ex best friend, got her pregnant, was forced to marry her, then he was stalking me for a time...but, that is a whole other post. My point is that he did me wrong, real wrong and it hurt. It caused me to put up a guard around me, hence why he is the first and only man to have/receive oral sex with/from me. He is the reason for my no oral sex rule, b/c he already met me knowing full well he wasn't gonna have sex with me..(he was understanding..he really was, until he cheated...) Soooooo, basically what I am trying to say is that while I am crushing on this dude, I probably wont act on it. I know I ain't his type and pretending to be will be foolish on my part. I am a realist (in most situations) and I know when the truth is the truth..The fact that he accepted my friend request does mean he likes me like that; it could and does mean he likes to meet people. I mean its not like he went searching for me, I went and found him so.... so that is that...damn this post went from happy to sad in one fail swoop..but, it is what it is.. much luv to y'all.

new musack

so here i am once again given yall some new musack..don't judge my spelling..i bought my college degree...so lets start *shoulder shakes*


first up i start with my bitch, lady gaga...i luv this chick so much..her style, her music..the fact that she can sing live and still blow most of these other hoes out the water( and yes this is aimed at cassie) ..i mean granted some things she does i cant cosign (that red lace outfit with the crown at the vmas, for one) but everything else, i luv. here is the new video for her song, "paparazzi" this video is just under 8:00 but i dig it..






next up we have miss chrisette michele...i am slowly becoming a stan for her, lol..her new album epiphany is good from beginning to end ,which we all know is rare with albums these days. the songs that speak to me are "notebook" and "mr.right." i luv them so very much, i do..so i will post both of these song for u guys to hear...


this is notebook (btw this is a fan made video..chile...i guess)




this is mr.right




next up is mah boo, trey songz..i have a bit of an healthy obsession with him. i luv his music and he is SO DAMN FINE... i will admit that sometimes his eyes be lookin crazy like serial killer eat ur liver as a snack crazy ,but that is ok, i don't think he would kill anyone, at least on purpose...anyway, his new album, ready and it is just wonderful.. i like it ( gotta admit i am trying to luv it) the songs that speak to my soul are "neighbors know my name" and " black roses'.. there are no videos for these songs, but u can listen and feel them...


neighbors know my name(i friggin wish.....)




black roses( it is such a prince type song )



and as a bonus scratchin me up..cause really that song does something to my spirit..*hoses self*




well that is it for now..oh wait...a bonus , letoya luckett.. i am liking her new album and her new song "not anymore" is tha biz.. cant find the vid but i did find an acapella version of her singing and well..bey was lying when she said only her and kelly could sing...




well that is it for now...peace and luv yall..

So I did it

Ok, remember when I said I would NEVER , EVER, request that dude that I liked, on Facebook as friend??? well... I did and well..I actually feel good about it. I just had a epiphany (btw, love that new Chrisette Michele album...Notebook and Mr. Right are my jams...). I was up one night thinking about life and such and came to a couple of realizations. One, I need a damn job, cause I am getting bored as shit staying home all the damn time. Two, I need to get on the ball with dropping some weight even though I have lost some, my pants is fittin loose and shit w/o my girdle on ... and Third, life is short and I don't wanna live with regrets in my life. Now, I never have and never will have regrets but the more I thought about this dude, the more I said "shit might as well". As I said I was up and thinking about life and decided that he is cute and we had a good convo,so why should I not wanna see if it was possible to gain a new friend??? So I took my ass on over to Facebook, went to his page( which at this point I could do in my sleep, don't judge) and hit the friend request button. I was cool with it ......until I turned off my computer.. I don't know what happened but I had a damn panic attack. I felt hot and cold at the same time , it was crazy.I told my mom that I felt hot but my hands felt cold and she said that is a sign of diabetes *rolls eyes* Anywho, I was on full-on panic mode, so I had to go back on my computer, log on to Facebook and take that shit back. So I did that and went along my day......Then I got to thinkin again "bitch why don't u just do it", So five minutes after I took the request back, once again I turned on my computer, logged on to Facebook and friend requested him ...I turned off my computer and felt a strange sense of calming come over me that I hadn't felt in days. Why I had the mini panic attack , I do not know but I do know that at the end of the day , whether he accepts my friend request or not , I did something I was afraid to do, I took a risk which I don't often do. Even if he does not accept the request (which he hasn't as of yet) I know that i did something I was afraid to do..and I loved it.

wtf u wearin :part 4

dang i haven't done this in a while but i haven't been inspired...till now..i found some pics i had and i just snapped rite into inspiration mode..so lets get going *taps lip* :

this bitch....wtf is this.. for real.???so let me wrap my head around , ok, u found some gym shorts and a half decent tank top , put that shit on and left ur house with the intention of going to club??? why the fck for?!?! iiiii, just don't understand why she would this..club wear is really becoming shit..smh..oh as for her hair..i don't think i have to say it look like shit and her as far as her nude face...whateva...moving on...

now i am no supermodel..shitttt i am bigger than two plus size models combined, so i know that certain shit will neva (unless i lose a gaggle of weight) will fit my body the way it should but ... apparently this bitch missed that memo cause this shit on this bitch right here...the fck she wearin and why.. i thought that maybe just maybe she worked for the club but oh no, this chick right here left her humble abode with this outfit on..from the breast up she is cute but from the bottom down her ass needs some fckin pants in her life..cause really!!! i just don't get where her common sense or better yet where her friends at..moving away...

now b/4 i tear her a new one lets start with the positive..she has on nice makeup and her yaki actually looks nice ...now lets get on to the task at hand *sighs*..the fck she have on??? i mean where in tha world (outside of a brothel) is some sheer leggings and a bodysuit considered an outfit??? then that hood, for real, they sell just hoods, no jacket attached?? where they do that at ??? ...i am more confused than jay- z and a keys were when lil mama/lil bow wow ( i can never tell them apart) walked up on stage cause his/her emotions were running high and shit (sidenote,.for real though ,that was the best reason she/he could give*rolls eyes*) then the belt ,the jewels, the gloves, the shoes.....this thirsty bitch is just doin too much for me.... flying away...

idk what she is so salty for (maybe cause she was wanted a drink and dude was takin too long to crack that bottle open) but i know why i am upset and it is b/c of her outfit..her legs have no business being shown if they look like that..shittt that why tights were invented..if ur legs are rubbing together and shit (mine do , don't judge) u should resist the urge to show them babies off..for real and the chick in the white t-shirt she posing as a dress needs to heed this advice too.. glides away...

coogi!!! (i cannot verify if this is real or fake coogi , something makes me think it is fake idk why but it does) in '09??? where they do that at, cause i need to know, so i can burn that place down... first off why the fck her leg up is beyond specially since she wearin a dress but i guess to her attention is attention... but really i though coogi died sometime in 01, in her mind it didn't .. i just always had a problem with coogi, mainly b/c the shit is ugly as sin but i guess that is just me.. at least her legs look nice enough to wear this dress...( they may rub together, but i can't tell hence i wont assume) *walks away*

well as yall see , same shit, different ppl.. trust me when i say this is not the worst of the pics i have..i wish it was though, i wish it was :(

feelin some kinda way

OK, last time I was tellin yall bout this dude I was crushing on. OK, so I decided that I was gonna try to find out more about him. So, I took my trusty ass on to Google, which, if you know me, know that I hate with a passion,( I am a Yahoo bitch till I die...) but if you are trying to find someone it is the best search engine to use. *tru talk* Moving on, I typed his name into Google and what is the first thing that came up??? his Facebook, of course. *sighs* I clicked it and sure enough it was him and I swear I almost had a panic attack.. I mean it was him, the dude I had such a great convo with at that place...I mean he looked even better in the picture..Part of me wanted to steal the pic but then I said that sounded crazy..like stalker crazy *lil sidenote*.. I may or may not have done that before btw to certain other people I caught feelings for...* ANYWAYZ*... I was then left with whether or not I should friend request him.. I told myself OK, we had a great convo and stuff and he does seem nice ..but what if he does not accept?? Will I look all desperate and shit??? So I went around and asked my bff and she said JUST FUCKIN DO IT!!! and I said, I won't cause I have some issues with my weight and how guys perceive me..I am a big gurl and semi happy with it..I mean I don't want to be that big chick who wants the in shape dude who won't want my ass back...I know this sounds about as mature as Kanye West snatching mikes from sweet country music singing teens at award shows talkin' stuff, but this is my real dilemma(see what lack of a job gets ya *sighs* )....So in my infinite wisdom, I decided to friend request someone that knows him( who I know personally btw, I don't go around friend requesting complete strangers unless they hot *POW*) to just see if I can find out more about him(yeah I know, I am going in..). All I found out is ....nuthin much. He leaves funny messages that I guess refer to personal jokes him and the person I know share..So then I really didn't want to message him cause now I like damn, they talk to each other a whole lot and well..hmmm.. *scratches head* So where am I going with this??? Basically, I would not friend request him if you paid me one million dollars and added that Trey Songz would sing his entire music catalog to me while naked and then let me have his way me *fans self* *sips water to cool down*..I would (with a heavy ass heart)still say no thank you cause I just can't..I want to but I just can't..So this long ass story that I have just typed was meant to say that I have no spine, am full of bitchassness and will not friend request some dude that I think I like.. So this rant be done,good day and much love....