I am back!!

Hey person! I say person because I am sure only one person reads this blog...Anywho, I have been doing pretty ok. I have basically decided ( since the beginning of lent ) to eat better, live better and be better. I dont eat fast food or foods who ingredients sound like they were made in a lab. I am trying (still working on it) to eliminate all unatural things out of my life aka as things that are synthetic (mind you I have synthetic hair in my hair as I type this, the irony, lol) or too lab made. So, no more perfume, nail polish, hair spray ,etc... Basically, if it didnt come from a plant, flower or from the ground, I.do.not.want. There are few exceptions to this rule, makeup is one of them and naturally occuring chemicals are another. I want to be better, so I plan to be a lot less judgy ( not a word but i like it) of people and the things they do. I mean i have dedicated multiple post on this here blog to people in clubs and while i don't regret them; I do see that I was a bit...harsh. I mean i wore short skirts to the club even though my legs rub together...causing wild fires and shit. So, I can't realy talk about other people and their bodies. I will continue to talk about bad clothing, bad make-up (or lack of make-up) and people who continue to disrespect furniture by putting their shoed feet on them. In the end, I just want to be a better...me.

P.s. I will limit my use of the word bitch, and no more mj jokes. I realized a year before he died and that he didnt touch no damn boys and I am a fan and he could have gotten my pussay if he wanted.

My post/rant /advice for /about montana fishburne aka chippy -d

well, unless you have been living under my fupa, you have heard about this whole business with montana fishburne. if you haven't , lemme give you quick synopsis: young legal aged girl wants to be famous quickly ala kim kardashian, decides to do porn to achieve said goal, girl's dad just happens to be famous dude which just makes the story better. ok, now that you got the basic let me get into this post/rant/advice for miss montana fishburne aka chippy-d.


now montana's story is not a new story at all. tons of young women,(i am pretty sure) have done porn with the mindset that it will help launch their career. i don't know any examples off hand but i am sure many girls thought/still think this way. now in montana's case, she has the last name of a famous actor backing her up,laurence fishburne, to help her along. she could have just relied on this to make her famous but i have the strange feeling that she is lacking in the talent and sense department to use this "novel" idea. i am disturbed by this story, not because she is doing porn,b/c if she wants to become a human trojan condom, she can. she is of legal age to do so. my problem is that she is probably doing this for two reasons . the first reason is to spite her father in some way. so far her father has not made any public statement about the fact that his daughter is pussy popping on dicks. now, he does not have to but it would really help people to understand why his daughter is choosing this path. the minute i took the time to sit down and think, the same question keep popping in my head. "where the hell is her daddy, better yet where the hell is her mama?" now i know (based on my research) that montana is the product of a broken home, i.e her parents are divorced, maybe that could start to explain her actions. maybe she is mad at her daddy for divorcing her mama and getting her pussy pounded within an inch of its life , is her way of payback..hey, i am just grabbing at dangling balls here..i don't know.


her second reason for doing porn is that she actually wants to be famous,quickly. in the press release from vivid video, montana said that she wanted to be kim k famous and feels that this porno will make her get there.when i read that, i did this. i mean that reason makes as much sense as me saying i want a burger but imma eat this tree bark b/c it is more filling. so you as a young pretty black woman, thinks that by doing a porn, not a sextape that was (very large open quotes) "leaked" to the internet, you will get fame. chile, it will not happen for you. ppl think of porn stars as well paid prostitutes (i dont , but most may do) and will not want to deal with you. you are starting your career at a disadvantage, a big one. i mean the general consensus is that most women *cough megan fox cough* sleep their way to the top, but that is shit that is done behind close doors . you are splaying your legs open willingly and freely with the intent of getting a legit career out of this. you my friend, are no jenna jameson, mind you it took her years and years to get somewhat accepted by hollywood. i am pretty sure some casting director asked her to suck his dick for a part, more than once based on her past. this is not the easy way to get fame, at all. just look at kim k, (even though i am 95% sure she released that tape to get fame,) i know that a part of her will never quite be ok with the fact that the world is seeing her getting dicked down by a leaning tower of pisa dick. one day she will have kids and those kids will have friends who will learn from their parents why kim is so famous, and i am pretty sure those kids will have no problem calling kim k a slore to her kids faces. the same fate awaits you, based on your actions.


now, miss montana, i have some advice for you on what i think you should take and implement in your life right now:


1. stop hanging out with brian pumper. oh i didn't mention his name before now, did i? so, let me give a short bio about him. he is porn star, who likes to get his ass licked on film and looks and sounds like llyod banks very... touched... cousin. anywho, he is really not a good person at all. besides his clear and obvious love for all things bussy and booty realated (which he denies) , (see this video posted by the lovely missjia to see why i think and know so), he is just a ass. an actual ass who raps like he used to huff car exhaust fumes as a child and faux's std test for other porn stars. i would not trust this man with my pumpkin, much less my career. i mean i could spend a post alone listing jokes about him and his fail as a person , such as he looks like a tall midget but a short dwarf, but i will just say he is not the one to hang with at all...


2. leave that young man named j.pipes alone. now, i have no idea who j.pipes is. all i know is he is your man and looks like a damn fool. he looks like sideshow bob from "the simpson's" and swizz beatz had a babay. i mean he looks very ...unsavory. something about him rubs me the wrong way, like he is a person who is using you to get his fame on. (lil sidenote: please advise him to change his name. when you look like a starving,emaciated dog, you need not call yourself any name that involves pipes, negro, you ain't laying shit at all *rolls eyes*)


3. better yet, get rid of every man in your life currently ,and go to your dad. and your mom. i have no idea where your daddy is, but you need his hugs and love...like yesterday. he should cuff you in the face for your damn antics but what you really need is his love. you also need the guidance of a woman, someone older, i.e your mom,who can help you understand why you are the things you are doing.


4. better still, dump all of the ppl in your life who are giving you advise on life. i don't know what kind of people you surround yourself with but these people ain't it. they are not helpers, they seem like enablers to you and your bullshit..


5. get a damn education. in these hard economic times,an education is really what is hot in these streets. i mean fame is nice and all, but a college degree is where it is really at. i have the strange feeling you don't have any actual talent except ones that involve dick, so why you want to be famous is anyone's, guess. i mean you don't even seem that interesting ala your "idol" kim k. at least she has something that makes her likeable. you..not so much. i really advise that you get a education because porn is not a means to an end that includes fame in hollywood.


6.do not do anymore porn..at all. you are a point now where you can make this porn thing into something good ala this fame you want so bad. you have already had baby batter coat your hair like gel ,on film..don't do it again. walk away from the porn business right now and you may, just may have a chance to be something hollywood approved. i say, do a bunch of interviews, admitting doing porn was a mistake that you made and that you were just advised poorly. then you should say that, you want to be a legitimate actress and follow in your dad's footsteps. do not forget to apologize to your daddy, mommy and family for the embarrassment you have caused them. i think if you do this, you could be on the way to having that kim k career that you hunger for


in the end, you have done the porno and cant take it back. that shit is now forever around. i hope you , miss montana, get out of this lifestyle that you are putting yourself in. i feel that you are not making these decisions with a clear head, i.e, drugs, and that someone ,i. e, j.pipes ,is pushing you to do this. i just really hope that you can be saved from being another young girl who gets lost in the porn industry because they thought porn was/is the back escalator to hollywood fame but instead found out porn was/is the mount everest climb to hollywood fame.


click here and here for the video of montana ,j.pipes and mr pumphim talking:

update on this here blog

i done gave up on writing in capital letter, it truly slows me down, so no more capital letters for me.. *booty pops* why did i do that idk *dougies* ok , ok, i am done.

my post/rant/advice for akeys,swizz beatz and mashonda

unless you have been living under a rock, you know about the akeys,swizz beatz and mashonda saga. if you don't , here is the short version. swizz and mashonda were married and having problems. they got separated and it was around this time that swizz met and courted miss keys, unbeknownst to mashonda who thought they were working through their problems. swizz eventually gets divorced from mashonda and him and akeys are now engaged and expecting a baby. ok, first off lemme say , i do not know the full story to this saga but i know enough to have formed an opinion on all the participants.

first let's start with swizz beatz. now you know, cheiflottsanose, you wrong as hell for what you did. you chose to pursue a relationship with someone while you were still in the bounds of marriage. i don't care what you say about separated this and we were not working out that. if that was the case, do you not think that maybe telling your wife that you were falling in love with someone else would have been common courtesy?!?! i mean she has your child after all ( lets not even get into the cheating while you were still together in which she named the other woman's baby and lost hers..wtf!!!) and you guys were together for a good amount of years. i just don't get why you didn't just sit her down and tell the truth instead of flaunting you and akeys relationship around the place, so messy like.

now on to you, miss keys. i have to ASSume you knew that mr. beatz was a married man. even if he was separated this or close to divorce that, he still was married to mashonda , who by the way has his child. how can you as someone who sang about the pain that cheating and lies brings to an relationship, put yourself in the middle of breaking up a crumbling marriage. who knows if they would have worked it out, if it were not for your involvement?!?!. i mean you sing a song called "karma" yet do something that may have very heavy karmic consequences for you. you cannot truly believe that a relationship built on the back of someones else pain is going to be one of true happiness?,you just cant... you may be happy now, but lets see what happens
(if, i am not wishing this on you) when you guys have problems and some harlot comes and shakes her bake in mr.beatz face. maybe then, you and mashonda can start a club with women who have been screwed over by swizz beatz and his dick. oh,and the audacity of you too make the song "unthinkable" ( while i admit i like it, i really hate that i do, i think it is b/c you are so very ,very honest and open on it) about doing something wrong but saying fuck it "we in love and shit" is just so wrong but many ppl( including me) see your heart on that song,more than any song you have ever done..it is still a slap in the face to mashonda and all women/men who have been in that situation...

now finally , mashonda. you i feel the most sorry for. i can only imagine what it must have felt like to find out your marriage was a official fail by the fact that your husband was gallivanting about with his new boo thang. i feel that you handled this better that 90% of women in your situation. you kept your cool and did not call anybody out of their name. i actually appreciated the open letter you wrote to miss keys about how you felt. it was mature and not mean at all. i did something similar to that when my name could not stay out of some bitches mouth in h.s and they decided i was ghay and further decided i needed to be outed. so, instead of snatching wigs and bashing skulls with cans of raid, i wrote a public letter letting them know i wasn't gay and when and if i come i would let them know. i posted in the girls bathroom and signed my full government name. my guidance counselor came to me and said she had never seen something like this and she was proud of my maturity, but i had to take it down. anyhwo,back to you, you need to move on from this. let swizz and akeys live and do you. raise your son and don't mention their names or do interviews discussing the situation. it makes you look bitter and still stuck on them and what they doing. leave it how it is. at this point most ppl see the situation for what it is and don't need any further reason to give a sideye of death to akeys and swizz beatz..

in the end i hope lessons were learned, healthy babies are born, wounds heal, scars fade and that history does not repeat itself for either party involved.

My post/rant /advice for/about kat stacks

this is my second and fully finished post on kat stacks, i am proud *tears*:


i want to be serious and write with capital but in this woman's case i cant. i just don't feel she deserves capitals. so, as you all know( by now anyway) kat stacks is a woman??(ok . ok , she is a woman) who is making a name for herself by sleeping her way 'round the rap world. now ,so far she has claimed she has slept with everyone in young money, fabulous, lil bow wow/lil mama ( i can never tell) and many others. idk if this is true but what i do know is true is that she needs to stop putting these men's number out there. she is playing a dangerous game which could get her killed, hurt or worse someone comes after her family. i am all for exposing your slore stories( i luv a good slore story!!!) but when you putting ppl numbers on blast or worst (maybe, possibly) lying about things (you may or may not have done with them) then you may have some problems on your hand. my question is why do these men continue to sleep with ms. stacks. the pussay cannot be that good. her face alone should be a deterrent. i mean really look at her!!! the other deterrent would be that she will put your dick game and number out in these streets. i am just as mad at these men then i am at her. they're fucking with their dick and not using their mind and they dick..men stay using the wrong head when it comes to making baby batter storage facilities decisions. i mean lil twist aunties and em wanna kick her ass, her manager is calling her his property, she had a fight with her mama( this is only half the stuff that has happened to her..smh)... i mean her life at this point is one long combo, jerry springer and maury episode. i mean where is her child, her self respect, her decency, her general decorum?!?! so being the nice person that i am, i have some advice for miss stacks.

first off stop fucking these rap dudes. they aren't worth it at all. some of these dudes are gang affiliated and with a flick of a wrist, your body parts could end up being dog food for strays dogs ,if they really wanted it to.

second, i suggest that you get a actual job, like something with a actual paycheck and benefits. being a ho shit connoisseur does not come with dental and medical, so maybe getting your g.e.d. will start you on the path to getting an education and a better line of work.

third, please stop saying people are hating on you. no one, i repeat , no one, is hating on you. they are mostly baffled by your lack of pretty and your abundance of celeb skeet being put into your mouth, ass, vagina, ear..etc. they are just wondering what set of special skills do you posses that makes these men get past your face and go for your orifices...

fourth, stop putting peoples number out on the net. who the fuck does that?!?! every time i see you do that i wanna three finger slap you, with baby powder on my hands. that shit is beyond rude and can be dangerous. if these dudes did you dirty,then be mad, but not mad enough to put their numbers on blast. you know some of these fans out here have no kind of sense and may end up blowing up phones with threats and such.

lastly, can you go watch your child please?!?! now i don't know if you are the most qualified to watch your child(based on your actions and words) but you are his mother , so...i guess. i mean as much time as you spend on twitter, worldstar, clubbing and getting kicked out of people's house and shit; what time do you actually have for that child of yours. you need to slow down and be there for this child. he will one day find out who his mother really is and will demand answers as to why you have done the things you have done.

in the end, you are grown and will do what you want, i just don't want to read about them finding your gunshot ridden body in a pile of garbage next to obama hair supply /nail shop and rib shack.. i am not wishing you bad, i am just letting you know, you are playing a dangerous game of russian roulette with a bullet in each chamber...

oh btw , if all of this that you are doing is a ploy/act/collaboration with these rappers just to make these rappers have an stronger internet presence then i say fuck you and them, but at the same time i also say well played, well played indeed. while it would anger me that this is all a lie /pile of falsehoods;i cannot deny how genius that would be, seriously.

my thoughts of the week (last week)

hey ppl , I am back with another fine installment of "my thoughts of the week, so *chews lip* lets start:

1) why do the lead actress, kristen stewart and the lead actor rob pattison from twilight act the they way they do? i mean who do they really think they are? they were at the mtv movie awards acting the ass. between her half assed/barely enthused speech and him with his got damn shoed foot on a chair and devil may care attitude, i nearly threw my remote at the fishtank..(t.v cost too much to replace). i mean first off, they are both not that great in the acting department. kristen is basically playing herself in the twilight movies with her annoying ass voice...and rob..well he just does a lot of face movements and some words come out, i dont really pay attention to him much. either way, they both need to just stop acting this way...it bugs me.... greatly....


2) when will someone arrest gary coleman's "widow"??? something in the lotion that gary barely used is not clean , my friends..between the 911 call and the pics she sold to the tabloids( i refuse to look at them...nope i will not) i just feel that if she didn't push him down them steps;she delayed getting him medical attention. her eyes look crazy and her attitude says "i am hiding something" i mean why was she so quick to take him off of life support? i can understand how hard of a decision that must be but damn!!! couldn't she have given him a few days to hang on?? at least for his parents or close friends to see him alive one last time( yes , i know him and his parents were estranged but i think they would like to see their son before he died) i want to believe this was an accident, i do but something is telling me it was no accident....



3) why is lil kim so mad/pressed at nicki minaj?? i mean kim, you need to sit down somewhere with your shit..for real. so what if nicki was/is (allegedly)throwing shots at you?? does it matter? does it lessen your status as a top female rapper?? does it cause your breast implants to shift to the left or your cheeks to droop like a huckleberry hound aka drake?. i mean kim, this is not the streets of brooklyn. you don't have to prove how hard you are when someone (allegedly ) takes shots/talks smack about you. if you wanna prove that miss minaj is so not it, then release an album with hot ass music and let the fans decide who is number one in this "barbie war." (oh btw kim, last two albums =no bueno!!!)

well those were my funnier thoughts this week, tune in next time!!!

My prayer for tonight

Hey y'all ,I will be attending a "pleasure partay" tonight and there will be a stripper(male.....) there,so I feel the need to say a prayer for the nite. So here it goes:

Dear Lord, please let me have a good time tonight. Let me enjoy myself and not be a prude. Idk if I will but anything buy if I do don't hold it against me....( I am a single lady..ask bey!!!). *clears throat* My main reason for this prayer is to ask that you go into the mind of the male stripper. Tell him o resist the urge to touch me. Now, I am no diamond, hell I am barely a cubic zirconia,but see my problem is..well you know.... I am big and we all knows what happens to strippers when they see big gurls. I have the strange feeling I am going to be the only big gurl and I already have a vision of what this stripper may(keyword may) try. He may try to pick me up,simulate some sexual act and then have me touch his dirty dic....I mean penis. Now, Lord, I am not knocking the way he makes money, I just don't want to be a apart of his money making. I do not want to be lifted up, touched or be apart of any simulated sexual act.I am just going to look ,not touch and i hope when he sees me that is what he thinks too. Now, if that makes me a prude then, I guess that I will be a prude because I will be dammed if I am grinded on by someone doing them dances moves from that Ciara woman??!!( btw Lord since I have your ear, does Ciara have penis..i mean she/he is built Ford tough and gives off man vibes..) . I have no desire to have some man with a large penis simulating eating my bo...i mean simulating oral sex on me. The only man I want to do anything involving my pus...vagina, is my future husband (once again, since I have you here, where he be at??? I mean I am not doubting your plan for me , I am just wondering is all...) ,plain and simple. So in closing, Lord ,keep that man's thoughts on whatever usually runs through his mind(i.e other penis....more other penis..i really don't know nor do I care) and off of me and my bigness..Please and thank you.

In your name I pray,Amen

past post update

hey y'all. just wanted to do a past post update. me and my little sister are back on speaking terms..ok, we been back on speaking terms but i just forgot to post that.*shrugs* my bad. well that's it really ,just wanted to put that out there. i could had just added an addendum to the post but why bother with that when i can just post this post...actually...yeah...next time i will do an addendum..okaybye!! oh btw here is the posts i am referring to 1 and 2

my thoughts of the week

i have decided to start something new called "my thoughts of the week" which is basically gonna be a list of all the most ridiculous thoughts that have run across my head this week. so *blinks eyes* lets start:
1)so was anyone really surprised that akeys was pregnant. after i saw the new video and noticed a lack of tight ass clothes and struggling to break free camel toe, i knew she was either pregnant or tryna turn over a new leaf..

2) Why was flex alexander allowed to play michael jackson in that god awful clearly unauthorized biopic. first off, he is like 5 feet taller and 8 shades darker than mj. second, to make him darker than mj they used baby powder and water as foundation( my lassie wassie is the one who claims this btw,lol gotta love my bestie!!!) third,flex is just not a dramatic actor and the voice he used to portray mj was damn offense.. i have yet to hear or see anythang with him mj sounding like an actual four year old stuck on helium, but, in flex's world mj sounded like just that...why lawd why was he allowed to do this *shakes fist*

3) back to miss keys'. we all know she choose interracial dating as the theme of her video because somehow, extramarital affairs would not have connected with her audience so much..we all know what that song is about. anyone who claims they don't is just.....

4) lil mama/lil bow wow( i can never tell) really needs to sit his/her ass down. this woman/man was shining abe lincoln shoes, drawing maps to the underground railroad, fistpumping with george washington after he became president, protesting against prohibition....i think you see where i am going with this..she/he old. dammit!!! i refuse to believe that lil mama/lil bow wow( i can never tell) is anywhere near her 20's...more like 120...

5) how does megan fox continue to get work?! she is like the poor, poor man version of angelina jolie. if they needed an angie jolie stand in and angie's brother in a black wig was unavailable,they would still hesitate to call her. i mean her acting is just god awful. i mean i have seen better acting from the fish in a fish tank compared to her..lawd bless her knees,pussay,asshole,mouth and back..i think you see where i am going with this..yeah,you do..



well that is all for now, these were just some of my more funnier thoughts for this week,tune in next week for more of my thoughts...